We tend to be our own worst critics in life. It’s easy to put yourself down and think that you’re not good enough. Negative self-talk and comparing yourself to others is common practice for a lot of people. However, it’s important to be kind to yourself and to change your mindset. This will enable you to live a healthy and happy life.
Most people put a lot of pressure on themselves to be perfect and have everything figured out in their lives. They want to be seen as being successful to other people. Expectations are given to us from a young age, and society and even our families and friends question us constantly. “When are you going to get a real job!?”. “Have you not got yourself a boyfriend yet!?”. “I thought you were on a diet!?”. These are just a few examples that I’ve heard in the past.
Ultimately, this leads to the feeling of not being good enough, and that there’s something wrong with you. You feel that you’re a failure because other people seem to have it all figured out. You see everyone else being happy in themselves and content in their lives.
Therefore, you then tell yourself that you’ll be happy or successful when you’ve achieved these things. However, it’s a vicious cycle because there’s always something else on the list.
External things and circumstances in your life aren’t constant and they can change without your control. Therefore, you cannot be happy if you’re relying on other things in your life to make you feel content.
Be happy in your own head and be comfortable with who you are right now. This creates an amazing sense of power and control in your life. The minute you stop comparing yourself and your life to others and their milestones the happier you will become instantly.
Saying things you like about yourself will help you to feel better. Moreover, it makes you more aware of your thoughts and the power you have to change them.
Remember
Your thoughts control your actions and your emotions. So, if you think negatively then you’re going to be negative and this affects your life for the worse.
However, if you think positively about yourself then you will improve your mental state and motivation. Therefore, you are more likely to achieve your goals. Remember, you are what you think… if you think you’re worthless, then you’re going to feel worthless.
Start your day off by thinking about 5 things you like about yourself and write them down. You may think that this isn’t going to achieve anything or you can’t think of what to write. However, if you start loving yourself, warts and all, you’ll see a drastic change not only in yourself but your whole life.
Why Should You Say Good Things About Yourself?
You may feel like you don’t have any good qualities and you don’t like anything about yourself. Trust me, I’ve been there myself. But there is always something good to find if you try.
Are you kind, loyal, hard-working, a good cook, an animal lover, a good listener? Do you have nice eyes, a good sense of style, make people laugh or do you make amazing cupcakes?
Simply thinking about 5 things you are good at or like about yourself is a great start toward changing your mindset about your self-worth. You will be focusing your thoughts more positively.
If you don’t like yourself it shows. People tend to gravitate towards people who make them feel good and are a positive influence in their lives. You cannot have healthy and thriving relationships if you hate yourself. Your insecurities make you feel down and worthless and that’s the energy you give out to the rest of the world.
Being kind to yourself is a fundamental factor in living a happy life. It helps to build your self-esteem and confidence when you focus on what you are good at and what you like about yourself.
It doesn’t do you any good being negative and thinking badly about yourself, it only holds you back from living a happy and healthy life.
If You’re Struggling About What to Write…
It can be hard to start talking and thinking positively about yourself when you are used to negative self-talk ruling your life. However, you can ask a family member or friend what they like about you. It’s easy for us to get stuck in our heads and focus only on what we don’t like about ourselves. We spend so much time criticising ourselves that we forget this isn’t how other people view us and it’s just one opinion.
We tend to put ourselves down and talk in ways to ourselves that we never would to people we care about. This is why it’s important to step back and see things objectively. The negative things we think about ourselves tend to be in our heads and not how we are viewed by other people.
There are always positive traits about you even if you think you are worthless and your life isn’t anywhere near where you want it to be. You may be beating yourself up because you still live at home. Or, you don’t know what you want to do for a career. Your body might not look how you want it to etc. But, if you strip these issues back to basics you’ll find that you have a lot more than what you think/feel at the minute. You are just in the habit of practicing negative self-talk, and this is damaging to your self-esteem over time.
When you have a mindset of gratitude and positivity then you will view these issues/flaws differently. You may still live at home but at least you have a roof over your head and aren’t on the streets. Furthermore, you may not know what you want to do for a career but at least you have a job and can afford to live. You may hate your belly or bingo wings but at least you have a body that functions and you can do something about it. Unlike someone who can’t walk or is too weak to exercise because of an illness.
There are always people who are worse off than you who would love the opportunity to have your life and abilities. Therefore, being grateful for what you have and who you are is a great way to boost your mood and step back and see your life more objectively.
Simplifying your life in this way will help you to find more positive things you can say about yourself. Start focusing on what is important in your life. Remove negative self-talk from your day and watch your life start to transform.
You Can Work on the Things You Don’t Like About Yourself
You have the power to change your mindset and your life by embracing the things you like about yourself and your life. Take small steps each day to improve the things you dislike. Start removing negative self-talk from your daily habits.
Remember, the only competition you have is yourself. As long as you are better than you were yesterday then you are winning. Over time this momentum grows and improving yourself daily has a massive impact on all areas of your life.
If you don’t like how insecure and un-confident you are, then you can make small changes each day or give yourself little challenges to overcome this issue. For example, you could start the day by saying the things you like about yourself. Consciously decide that today you aren’t going to say anything negative about yourself. Or, you could wear something that makes you feel good or have a day pampering yourself.
These may seem like insignificant things to do but if you do little things like this every day, you’ll start to see a change in how you feel about yourself because you are making an effort to change these insecurities. Negative self-talk has a direct impact on your mental health and happiness.
“Be nice to yourself… it’s hard to be happy when someone is mean to you all the time”- Christine Arylo
Summary
I find a great way to help me stop wasting time on hating myself and to focus on the good things is to envision myself being old. I doubt I’ll look back at pictures or situations in the same light as I do now. I’m sure I’d wish that I’d jumped off the boat on holiday in my bikini and not worried about my belly!
Or, I will wish I hadn’t wasted so much time being upset over all the friendships and relationships I lost that weren’t good for me anyway. I’d be grateful for all the good things I’d achieved and had in my life.
It’s time for you to start removing negative self-talk from your life and focus on what you love about yourself.
Remember, all the negative things that you think/feel about yourself shouldn’t hold you back and stop you from living your life to the fullest. Training your mind to think in more positive ways about yourself and learning to accept yourself as you are whilst working on improving yourself a little each day will have a massive impact on your life. Start removing negative self-talk from your everyday life.
Remember, everyone thinks negatively about themselves in some way. However, happy people focus on their positive traits and work towards accepting or improving their perceived negative traits. By removing negative self-talk you will begin to live a happier and more fulfilling life.
“You will never speak to anyone more than you speak to yourself in your head. Be kind to yourself”– Unknown
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